"Sometimes I'm terrified of my heart; of it's constant hunger for whatever it is it wants. The way it starts and stops..."

I was in love with New York. I do not mean ‘love’ in any colloquial way, I mean that I was in love with the city, the way you love the first person who ever touches you and you never love anyone quite that way again.

—Joan Didion, “Goodbye to All That”

At least as deep as the Pacific Ocean
I wanna be yours

You’re gone and I got to stay high
All the time to keep you off my mind

this again

this hour it is not
your body I want
but your quiet company

—Michael Ondaatje, Speaking to you (from rock bottom)

but didn’t you know,

all this love was for you

i want you to know,

every line was for you

You said that you would never stop loving me
Well do you lie through your back teeth
To your new beloved


Call one: when will you write this poem? there is a girl somewhere with daddy issues, waiting for you to save her.

Call two: the first time you tied me up I fell in love.

Call three: please, understand that I am not afraid of you. I like the way your nails curve. I like the noises that come from the backest back of your throat, prehistoric as all.

Call four: fuck poetry. stop calling me back.

Call five: I’ve stopped thinking about you. but sometimes my hands remember you, when I am fast asleep, and terrified.

Call six: what was the name of that movie? you didn’t like the main actor, but I liked him just fine.

Call seven:

Call eight: I found some of your hair somewhere. It didn’t make me sad.

Call nine: once I reread your old letters. I would have forgotten you were such an artist, if not for the way your words beat and bled me.”

Gems in the East Village

Gems in the East Village

well I know I’m hard to take

you’re a bit beautiful aren’t you?

—like something out of a moment in my own mind.

Hearts that break the night in two
And arms that can’t hold you that true

For a little while, I really was starting to feel like, “do you think that one person can completely wreck you for someone else? i hope not. people are sometimes pretty fxxxing wonderful.”

but for tonight maybe I think that people are the same and disappoint in the same ways, or just the ways that disappoint me.  

(Source: Spotify)

7 hours of straight repeat says I can’t get enough of this one

(Source: Spotify)